HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Kinsley had her first halloween!!!!!!! here are some pictures in random order.

here are the pumpkins daddy carved!!!


Kinsley and Tierney two peas in a pod!!!




Kinsley, Teirney, Rece, and Carmine!!!



LOVE LOVE LOVE this picture, it was exactly what i wanted!!! i always wanted a picture like this on my kids first halloween!!!


Here is Kinsley in her costume with the big pumpkins!!

Daddy cleaning out the pumpkins!

Kroger had a kids night out, even though Kinsley couldn't do the activities, i took her to see daddy at work. Brandon was such a cute proud papa, he carried her all over the store showing her off to his employees. they all love her there!

smiles!!!!

here is a picture of one of Kinsley's first smiles. this one was taken on 10-17-09. i am not sure when the very first one was but sometime around this one. she still only smiles infrequently, but we see a couple a day. today she smiled huge at tonia!!

one more month

i decided the other day to give breastfeeding a try for one more month. we have made backwards steps again with the infections. i have tried every medicine, herb, vitamin, probiotic, pumping schedule, feeding schedule, hot compresses, cold compresses, creams, breast massages, etc., etc. so i feel i have given it a good try. i am still feeling very defeated, frustrated, and disappointed about it, but i don't think there is much else to do. i saw the breast specialist again and they asked what i would think if they told me i had to stop breast feeding to clear up this problem, i told them one more month. i am again (or still) experiencing shooting pains, itching, burning (for at least an hour after feeding, like i could shoot fire!!), and over all uncomfortableness (is that a word?) the doctor did mention a surgery but i feel like that is going a bit far. it would be to unclog the damaged ducts, but then i would leak milk through the holes from the surgery, and there is no guarantee that it would solve all the issues.

so the plan is to keep trying for now, i am going to stop pumping for the time being because it is again becoming painful. i am feeding kinsley with a nipple shield which is annoying but better then the bottle for me. i will talk with the LC again next week and see what they say. i am also going to ask if it is possible to ween kinsley dry up and then restart the milk production with a pill (yes they have a medication that will do that) i just wonder if we could start fresh would the problem be gone. it is worth asking. obviously i really want to make this work, my stubbornness is helping me hang in there for sure. i never thought i would put this much in to trying, but when all the problems started it bothered me a lot more then i thought it would that i couldn't feed her. it is just something i really want to do.

so we will see what happens between now and basically thanksgiving.

Kinsley is one month old!!!!!!!

our photo shot at home, 1 month old...working on that head control!!! Kinsley seems to really like tummy time and has no complaints so far!

WOW!! i can't even believe that Kinsley is already one month. She is starting to smile, and slowly figuring out a schedule. Overall we are so lucky to have such a good little baby girl. Kinsley has been so patient though out my breast feeding issues. she takes a bottle great for us and has also gone back to the breast with minimal trouble. she cries when she is hungry or tired and other then that she just likes to be held and to hang out with mom and dad. i still get so excited that i am finally a mom. brandon is a natural dad and is so wonderful with kinsley. we look forward to watching her grow more and more, i just hope it doesn't all go by as fast as this first month did!

1 month appt

we had Kinsley's 1 month appt. yesterday. the doctor said she looks good and is nice and healthy. she weighed 10 lbs. 6oz. (75 percentile) and was 22 inches long 55 percentile). her head is now 15 inches.

not much else to say about that, we had a non eventful appt.

SMILES
they asked if Kinsley was occasionally smiling yet...it was funny cause i just said the other day that i thought she was smiling on purpose. she does smile sometimes and it is great, they are still very few and far between but they are happening!!!! we have at least one on camera i will post later.


BREASTFEEDING
i have started breastfeeding again, we started the other day with every other feeding and now i am doing every feeding, i am still not healed all the way but i figured if pumping hurt the same as feeding her then i would rather just feed her. i am still on meds ad they still don;t know why i am not responding to them as i should be. hopefully this will all clear up soon. i am using a nipple shield right now and i am pretty sore, i can't seem to get her on deep enough. we are both still learning, and i am lucky to have such a patient little girl.

Tomorrow is officially one month!!! can you believe it?

Kinsley Pictures!

here are a few pictures of Kinsley that i think are great. i will keep trying to post pics for all to see. she is changing so much already and i can't even believe that next sat. she will be 1 month old...that is crazy!

this one is just cute! she really loves her bouncy seat and lately has been sleeping there at night too.


Averie, baylor and beth came to visit on wed. i did not do a god job taking pics but i did get thi sone. averie did a great job holding the Kinsley, she really enjoys babies!



here is carmine holding Kinsley, if you ask him he will tell you that Kinsley is his sister. i think that is so cute. he really thinks that he, rece, tierney and kinsley are all sisters and brothers.



just K being cute in her jogging suit!

i love that face! we call her smoosh alot because she is smooshy and makes smooshy faces like this one

well she doesn't need us anymore she can hold her own bottle!!!! she stayed in this position and just sucked that milk down!!

Kinsley taking a bath in the big tub. she seems to like the water as long as it is not too cold. the bath also calms her and she will hang out and sleep forever after a bath.

Sleepy kinsley on mommy!

she is just to precious for words. i know i am biased but i think she is adorable!!! she makes the greatest faces and sounds. every day i get more and more attached and fall more and more in love with her. i love taking her places and being able to actually say she is mine...i have been pretending with other peoples kids for so long...finally i have one of my own!!!

breast feeding update

today i went to a breast specialist to get to the bottom of all these issues we are having. it turns out the meds never fully worked so the mastitis and thrush have never gone away. so she changed my meds and prescribed a new one and hopefully this works. i will go back and see her again on tuesday and then to the LC again to hopefully put kinsley on the breast to feed. we will see. so for now i will continue pumping every 2 hours...fun times! i am still very sore, itchy, burning, and having sharp pains. that is all for now i will post next week how the follow up goes.

PICS!

just a couple cute pics to share. i have more on my camera that are more recent too, but really she is only 2 weeks old so they are all pretty recent!!!!


she found that thumb quick! she loves to suck on anything, she will definitely be a pacifier kid, i am ok with that as long as she isn't talking with it in her mouth at 2!! she only needs it for a little bit to settle sometimes, it seems to help her when her belly is upset to calm down...whatever works!


what do you think Kinsley was thinking about here? i love this pic.



bath time! Kinsley seems to like the bath so far we will see when we get in the real tub :)

breatsfeeding

we had another appt. with the LC. still too swollen and sore to try Kinsley back on the breast. we will continue the every 2 hours pumping till monday and try again!

big update

ok here we go!

well, kinsley is 2 weeks old today! wow that went super fast. she is definitely more awake and alert, and i feel like she has a pretty strong neck. i feel like she is a pretty strong baby in general.

BREASTFEEDING:
all i can say right now is OUCH!!! we have gone to 2 lactation consultants now and we are still not fixed. yesterday things went from bad to worse, i have mastitis in both breasts, thrush, multiple blocked ducts and a massive amount of swelling. my nipples are the size of nickles when i am done pumping..that is crazy! i have breast swelling also. we are going back on friday if the pain has gone down by 90% to try and see if we can get kinsley back on the breast. for now we are pumping and she is taking the bottle just fine. she is a powerful sucker and will really suck on anything, it soothes her alot.if friday doesn't work we will go on monday. i already feel better since yesterday. the LC gave me larger flanges for the pump so all my swelling could fit without adding pain and irritation. i also think all the meds are kicking in. so we are hanging in there for now, hopefully good news soon!

Mom and Dad:
we are tired!!! up every 2 hours to pump and then whenever kinsley gets up to eat also, so sleeping isn't even kind of happening these last few days. other then that we are doing pretty good.

we know all will be well soon and we will look back on these first few weeks and it will seem like nothing. i am just glad right now that my pain has gone down i was in pain all day and nothing could even touch me. so that is a step in the right direction. Kinsley is hanging in there too. she is such a good baby. not too fussy (YET!!) she loves to be held when falling asleep, but will also sleep fine in the pack and play. we have tried the swing and bouncy seat a couple times and get mixed reviews. although she is a car baby, she is content and asleep usually before we get out of the neighborhood even though she screams when we put her in the car seat!

we will post more pics soon, i need to be more rested to deal with all that!

Birth story

Before I get into my story let me just say, much like life…our story did not go as planned. We had an emotional journey with a lot of decisions we did not want to make but had to. We are ok with how everything turned out, but it was a very sensitive subject and at times still is. It is a hard thing to get past when you had such high hopes for something. I had feelings of failure, fear, uncertainty, and doubt at times. Overall however, we are ok with how it went and despite the drama would do it again.


Ok so here we go!

Wed. Sept. 23rd

5:30am- water breaks

6:15am- called our midwife to let her know, and to make sure that it was my water.

4:00pm- headed to hospital, we labored at home for 11 hours. It went just as we wanted, I was comfortable and relaxed, our hypnobirthing techniques were great. My back was getting sore but I thought it was just due to my back issues. We decided to go in when I had a contraction that went straight to my back and I was unable to move. After this point I did not feel baby contractions in my uterus, rather I had intense back, hip, and leg pain that continued to increase. Unknown to me at the time I was in back labor, for those who don’t know what that is…the baby is faced to wrong way and her skull was rubbing on my back bones. Bone on bone…painful!

4:49pm- When we got to the hospital I was 3 centimeters, and 80% effaced. The baby was at -2.
We continued to labor, walked the halls, showered, and used the birthing ball, and so on. At this time my contractions we not regulating at all, they were very sporadic. We were still using our hypnobirthing techniques to stay relaxed, however my back pain was overriding everything. With each contraction we would breathe through it, and overall stayed pretty calm.

6:55pm- recheck, still 3, 80%, and -2…no change!

We continued to labor, back pain was getting very intense, walking was so difficult, and my legs would give out. Brandon had to push so hard on my hips and back to try and help with the pain. Still baby contractions were not being felt due to the back pain.

10:22pm- recheck, still no change, still sporadic contractions.

11:20pm-our midwife came in to talk to use about some options. After awhile of crying we decided to try pitocin and nubain. The pitocin was to try and regulate the contractions so that my body would progress. The nubain was to take to edge off my back labor pains.

Thursday Sept, 24th

1:32am- we ended to round of meds and I was rechecked I was at 4, still 80% and baby moved down to -1. Not a lot of progress for the meds and time, still not regular contractions.

We stopped the meds and continued to labor without them to see what we could do. During all this laboring I was changing positions every 30 min. I was losing steam and falling asleep without knowing it. Brandon was holding me up most of the time. The pain was at such a high level and there was no rest. Again this was the back pain, not baby pain. My back would not relax for anything. We used our breathing techniques and continued to get through each contraction but I was still not progressing. Each contraction was getting more painful and I have no idea how I got through them, it was an indescribable pain. If you have never had back labor you will never know. I have had some painful experiences in my life and this was far beyond them. Without back labor I think it would have been much different.

4:15am- after talking with our midwife, and crying for about an hour, we finally decided to get the epidural. This was 100% not what I ever wanted but I was to a point that I was unable to move on my own, and I still did not have regular contractions. It was time to do something. FYI the epidural is nothing like what they show on TV, it sucked and when I do this again I will still not want one. It will be a decision made when needed, but not asked for. It is just not something that I enjoyed.

4:55am- after epidural kicked in I actually felt my uterus tighten for the first time since wed. It took about 3 or 4 contractions for the meds to kick in. with the back pain gone the contractions were manageable. Unfortunately the only way to get the back pain gone was to get the epidural which took all feeling away. I wish I could have had the back pain gone and still labored with feeling, but not a choice. So after all that I was only at 5 centimeters, 90% effaced and baby was still at -1. Pitocin was restarted at this point.

8:15 am- we slept for a few hours and then I was rechecked. At this point I was a 6, 100% and baby was -1. Still irregular contractions. Throughout the night and morning they had been increasing the pitocin to try and regulate the contractions, but they just would not do it.

10:20 am- recheck 9cm, 100%, -1

11:15 am- recheck, same

12:45pm- recheck, nearly a 10, 100%, baby moved to +1 (needs to get to +3)

2:20 pm- finally pushing!!!!!!!!! I asked our midwife if I could please have the
baby by 3:00. She said if I push well I could do it. I could feel the contractions and pushed well. They brought the mirror down for me to see, although I did not want it, I was glad they did, it was very helpful to be able to see the progress I was making with my pushing. My contractions never did regulate, we had to wait anywhere from 2-6 minutes between them when pushing.

I had a 2nd degree interior tear that needed stitches. But nothing major.

3:06pm- Our little Kinsley Rose was born!!!(Although we did not name her till later that night) Daddy got to catch her and cut the cord. It was great!!!! She was perfect! She came out pooping!!! Apgar scores were 9 and 9. She was 9lbs. 1oz. 21.75 inches long, and she had hair!!!

33.5 hours it took to get our baby girl! It was quite the journey. Brandon was amazing and I could not have done it without him. Our midwife was also amazing, she was there to help and comfort us. She was even massaging my hips and legs when I was in the highest pain. I am not sure when it would have been but I know my labor was getting close to the hour of discussing a possible c-sections. Luckily it all worked out and the option did not have to be discussed at all. For curiosity reasons I am going to ask Becky at our appt. at what hour we would have had that talk.

Overall, it was still a positive experience and I would do it again. Hopefully next time I can to it without back labor!! Also I am still a believer in hypnobirthing, without the techniques I think the situations would have gotten a lot worse. Even through the highest levels of pain I was breathing through it and staying relatively calm, without the knowledge I had I really feeling like I would have been a screaming mess!