pics from february!

ok here are a ton of pictures!!! they are all out of order but oh well!!


Kinsley can sit up!!!!


out first nap with no swaddle, and she rolled on her belly all by herself!!!!


i did it again mom!!!

this one is for you aunt kelsey!!!! i looked so cute in my tutu!

just chillin and watching some tv with buddy.

brandon kinsley rick and audrey

meeting audrey again!

silly daddy!

happy v-day, daddy got kinsley a balloon and she loved it!

just reading in the bumbo

so cute...do you like my poop face!

just adorable!!! i love that she holds her feet all the time now.

Kinsley at 5 months

here are some stats of where kinsley is at 5 months.

*she is now rolling back to belly all the time and sometimes back to belly.
*she is sitting up without support for 30secs or more (doesn't sound like much but a big deal!)
*she is no longer being swaddled. that stopped at about 4.5 months. we rock her for a bit and lay her down awake and she falls asleep.
*she uses a pacifier at night
*she has done a week here and there sleeping through the night but still has nights where she eats once or twice
*she laughs at me the most and brandon sometimes, other people have to work very hard for a laugh and a smile too
*she babbles like crazy at home but is shy around others, much get that from daddy
*her hair is trying hard to grow...not much!


i think that is all the basics, i can't think of anything else right now.

5 months

we had kinsley's five month appt today.

she is 13lbs 13oz, so she only gained 3 oz.
26 in, which is a 1/4 in gain.

doctor said she is plateauing a little because she had rapid growth before, she is still in the 80% for height and he said she will be near the 50% in weight. so tall and skinny, imagine that!

as for the reflux issues, well for about 8 days she has been fantastic, after the formula trial i stopped all meds even gas drops to see what would happen and well she decided that was the answer. much like me when i stopped all the meds when i was sick i got better...she is my girl! so things have been great around here (knock on wood) not to say she isn't crying or fussy but the ear piercing screaming is gone and she is actually a much quieter crier now too.

so all that is good news. he did say if things flare up again we will act fast..hopefully they don't!

other then that not much to speak of, gave me some lotions to try on her dry sensitive skin, and said the cradle cap is looking better..not much to worry about.

i will try to get some pics from this month up soon!

SHE ROLLED!!!!!

woo hoo, kinsley rolled over!! she has been working on it the last few days and she finally got it. i laid her in her crib and went to check on her and there she was on her belly!!! she has been doing that the last few nights in her swaddle but this was swaddle free!!!

one more thing about formula

THE POOP IS NASTY!!!!!!!!

completely different then breast milk poop, and totally nasty!

formula trial day 2

well here we are nearing the end of our 48 hour trial and i can't say we have seen much change. we have had some happy moments and some screaming moments, but nothing different then what a good day would have been for kinsley anyways without changing anything. we do have good days here and there. i did notice that her eating habits are crazy and will discuss that with the doc when we go back to talk about all of this, i will also ask if we should see a pediatric GI.

overall though i am thinking we may just have a very demanding child on our hands, which is fine, i just wanted to make sure i covered the bases in case something more serious was happening. i mean when you combine me and brandon you are bound to get a kinsley!!!!!!!

so as you can just imagine if you know my history i am extremely sore after all this pumping to keep my supply up and i am not looking forward to the first few times i breast feed again, it is going to hurt. luckily i still have shield around here to use for some protection, but it will still hurt. i did get an ok amount of milk though so my freezer supply is looking good! maybe a date night is in order, we need to use up the older milk in the freezer anyways before it goes bad. after all this a night out with brandon would be nice!

learning

motherhood is one big PHD!!!!!!! (i think i have earned one) i feel like all i am doing is learning more and more information everyday and seriously can't even remember it all. it is so crazy how one decision takes days worth of thinking, talking with other moms, talking to the doctor, googling and so forth. i am thankful to have found a mom's club because a lot of those mom's have helped me with kinsley's many issues. if one mom didn't experience you can bet one did. even though all of our views don't match we all support each other's decisions. it is really nice to have that.

anyways, the more i learn about the formula the less i like it. ya ya, "they" say it is just as good as breast milk, but i am not buying that, i have read the ingredient list and that stuff is not in my milk!!! still to each their own.

i have been asked a lot lately by many people why after all the issues i have had that i keep breastfeeding. ya being free is huge but beyond that it is a personal struggle. i have spent nights on the phone with friends trying to decide what to do and i just can't stop. it is so hard to explain but feeding kinsley is one of the greatest experiences i have ever had. it is the one time of day i know i am doing the right thing, with out questioning myself a million times. it just feels right even after everything. ya formula makes it easier i guess to do things, since i can only pump so much and it only last so long in the freezer (6month, no bad!). but to me it has all been worth it. i would rather have ready to go milk then mix formula everywhere i go while the baby screams.

again i state i am not downing any formula feeding moms, totally your choice, just not for me.

these days things are better i can actually go out in public and not use the nipple shield. that was huge!!! i fee like i deserve a cookie!!!!

i have also been asked how long i plan to breastfeed. i am still unsure about that answer. when i was in pain i would say i was done at 1 year, but now i don't know. i am in no hurry at all to start real food. in fact i have always hated feeding babies and have always said i would skip baby food all together and just smash real people food for my kid, or just hand her the soft pear or whatever food she is on. i still intend to do that, no jars of food for me! no that does not mean i am making my baby food. no i am actually just baking the potato and cooling it down before just giving it to her, or cutting the pear and handing her a piece, or making the peas and smashing each one with my finger. not pureeing anything into tiny little ice cube trays!! if i could i would probably breastfeed exclusively for the whole first year, but i gave birth to a moose so i am not sure she will make it that long. the doctor will help me makes that choice based on her weight gain and ready signs. i would also like to wait for at least her first tooth. apparently that is actually the bodies sign that the digestive system is ready or food.

(see so much learning!!!)

formula trial

well first of all...formula is nasty!!!!

i always wanted to breast feed but originally said i would go to formula is i absolutely had too, however after all i have been through i still wanted to breastfeed more for a personal triumph then anything. but after just one day of formula..ya no i don;t think i will ever do formula. it is so nasty. kinsley smells like potatoes!!!!!!!! it is so gross. it looks nasty, smells nasty, just yuck all around. more power to ya if that is the route you choose, no judgment it is just not for me!

so far no change in her behavior either, still screaming and she doesn't seem to like the formula anyways. so it is even harder to feed her now. tons of fun here!

so if we due determine an allergy i will most likely be on some sort of special diet so she can still breast feed.

so i had to pump today and i am super sore..more fun. i also noticed alot more fore milk then hind milk so i called the LC just to see if that could be causing kinsley issues, maybe just not really filling up well, but they said no. it turned out i just did not pump enough and had to pump a little longer due to my supply amount. i have always had some over supply issues, and they did mention that mothers with over supply generally have more gassy babies which causes more fussy babies, so possibly that is the only issue we are having.

still figuring out miss kinsley, will keep you posted.

back to the doctors

on monday i took kinsley back to the doctors because she is still screaming alot. i asked all about the prevacid, can it wear off, is her dose big enough, how quick should it have worked??? etc. he said it should not be wearing off but did tell me to give her an extra 2.5 mls in the afternoon and see if that helps her get to bed time. as for the dose, alot of people have asked me about that and my doctor said 15mg is what a 150lbs man should be taking because dosage is based off of weight, so that makes sense that kinsley would only be on 5 mg. i am good with that answer i would rather not give her more then she needs, especially if we find out there is more to the issue then reflux. which leads me to the next plan. i am not to happy about this one but doing it anyways. if after changing up her meds for 2 days i don't see improvement then i am going to try a predigested formula for 48 hours and see what happens with that. it will be a quick way to see if something in my milk is causing the problem. i don't really want to do it, but it will be only 48 hrs and i will know for sure if i need to try more elimination diets. i will not just switch i will do more with my diet first. luckily we got a free sample from the doc. since it is the uber expensive formula to buy. so we may find out she has a food issue, or we may find out i just have the world's fussiest baby!!!!! we should know by the beginning of next week.

i spoke to soon

we are back to screaming our heads off. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! so we are going to go back to the doc on monday if things are still crazy. it could be a number of things (reflux, a cold, ear infection, she went 3 days no poop but did poop today, just fussy, etc.) but i want to go back anyways to see what the doc says.

oh and i am not crazy! my baby really does scream alot. of course she screams less when people are around or when we go to the doctors so everyone thinks i am nuts! but i swear i am not crazy and i am not exaggerating. why would i make up bad stories about my kid, if i was going to exaggerate i would say how wonderful everything is, not how terrible. noone said anything to prompt that but i just needed to vent. i feel like people think i am exaggerating how she is and i'm not. i know babies have fussy times but my kid is unhappy/fussy/screaming for the majority of the day, i just don't find that to be normal. i have read about high needs babies, and i guess she would fall under that category!!!! i just want to make sure we are not missing something, if she is just a fussy kid that is fine but i want to be sure so we will see.

ok so we are going nuts here but hopefully things will settle down someday!

pictures and updates!

update on the meds. so far so good. kinsley has been sleeping better and crying alot less. she smiles and is happy, today she even put her head down on my shoulder and just cuddled...i loved it!!!!! now we still have our moments and probably always will, we have a spirited little girl on our hands and she will always give us a run for our money!!! she has had a cold the last couple days too, very snotty!!! hopefully she feels better soon.

we put kinsley in her jumper seat!!! she seems to like it

just too cute!


my 2 favorite people sound asleep!


some bath time pics! kinsley still likes the bath, she never minds the water.