one more month

i decided the other day to give breastfeeding a try for one more month. we have made backwards steps again with the infections. i have tried every medicine, herb, vitamin, probiotic, pumping schedule, feeding schedule, hot compresses, cold compresses, creams, breast massages, etc., etc. so i feel i have given it a good try. i am still feeling very defeated, frustrated, and disappointed about it, but i don't think there is much else to do. i saw the breast specialist again and they asked what i would think if they told me i had to stop breast feeding to clear up this problem, i told them one more month. i am again (or still) experiencing shooting pains, itching, burning (for at least an hour after feeding, like i could shoot fire!!), and over all uncomfortableness (is that a word?) the doctor did mention a surgery but i feel like that is going a bit far. it would be to unclog the damaged ducts, but then i would leak milk through the holes from the surgery, and there is no guarantee that it would solve all the issues.

so the plan is to keep trying for now, i am going to stop pumping for the time being because it is again becoming painful. i am feeding kinsley with a nipple shield which is annoying but better then the bottle for me. i will talk with the LC again next week and see what they say. i am also going to ask if it is possible to ween kinsley dry up and then restart the milk production with a pill (yes they have a medication that will do that) i just wonder if we could start fresh would the problem be gone. it is worth asking. obviously i really want to make this work, my stubbornness is helping me hang in there for sure. i never thought i would put this much in to trying, but when all the problems started it bothered me a lot more then i thought it would that i couldn't feed her. it is just something i really want to do.

so we will see what happens between now and basically thanksgiving.