learning

motherhood is one big PHD!!!!!!! (i think i have earned one) i feel like all i am doing is learning more and more information everyday and seriously can't even remember it all. it is so crazy how one decision takes days worth of thinking, talking with other moms, talking to the doctor, googling and so forth. i am thankful to have found a mom's club because a lot of those mom's have helped me with kinsley's many issues. if one mom didn't experience you can bet one did. even though all of our views don't match we all support each other's decisions. it is really nice to have that.

anyways, the more i learn about the formula the less i like it. ya ya, "they" say it is just as good as breast milk, but i am not buying that, i have read the ingredient list and that stuff is not in my milk!!! still to each their own.

i have been asked a lot lately by many people why after all the issues i have had that i keep breastfeeding. ya being free is huge but beyond that it is a personal struggle. i have spent nights on the phone with friends trying to decide what to do and i just can't stop. it is so hard to explain but feeding kinsley is one of the greatest experiences i have ever had. it is the one time of day i know i am doing the right thing, with out questioning myself a million times. it just feels right even after everything. ya formula makes it easier i guess to do things, since i can only pump so much and it only last so long in the freezer (6month, no bad!). but to me it has all been worth it. i would rather have ready to go milk then mix formula everywhere i go while the baby screams.

again i state i am not downing any formula feeding moms, totally your choice, just not for me.

these days things are better i can actually go out in public and not use the nipple shield. that was huge!!! i fee like i deserve a cookie!!!!

i have also been asked how long i plan to breastfeed. i am still unsure about that answer. when i was in pain i would say i was done at 1 year, but now i don't know. i am in no hurry at all to start real food. in fact i have always hated feeding babies and have always said i would skip baby food all together and just smash real people food for my kid, or just hand her the soft pear or whatever food she is on. i still intend to do that, no jars of food for me! no that does not mean i am making my baby food. no i am actually just baking the potato and cooling it down before just giving it to her, or cutting the pear and handing her a piece, or making the peas and smashing each one with my finger. not pureeing anything into tiny little ice cube trays!! if i could i would probably breastfeed exclusively for the whole first year, but i gave birth to a moose so i am not sure she will make it that long. the doctor will help me makes that choice based on her weight gain and ready signs. i would also like to wait for at least her first tooth. apparently that is actually the bodies sign that the digestive system is ready or food.

(see so much learning!!!)